You Should Know What I Need
- Karin Goldgruber, Founder of Next Step Coaching
- Dec 21, 2019
- 1 min read
Updated: May 11, 2021
Let’s be honest. We expect our partner to know how we feel. To always understand us. To accommodate our needs. Which is impossible. They can’t read our minds. We don’t even know how we feel or what we want many times.
Yet we try harder and harder to make our partner understand us. To see our point of view. We demand to be seen and heard. We feel they owe us. When they still don’t get us, we try to change them. They try to change us. We are stuck.
Do we insist to be understood because we don’t understand ourselves? What lies underneath this yearning to be understood?
We expect them to know what we want. No matter what they do it can never be the right thing, when we don’t even know what we want. We are disappointed in them. We set ourselves up for failure. We don’t even take the time to figure out what we need.
It’s scary to state clearly what you need. Your partner might not understand it at all. Fear of disapproval comes up. Fear of being different and being rejected. Yet we constantly keep rejecting our needs and wants by avoiding them at all cost. Ignore who we are. Pretend to be what we think our partner expects us to be.
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